5.11.20

Mali-Lima (dim. 2 juin 2019) "Ciel"

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I'm always here. However I'm staying away from Facebook or Twitter. I need quiet time for myself. Flying to Spain in two weeks and spending there most of the summer. Quick trip to Vienna. Staying away from writers or suitors. It actually hurts now that I tell you this and think of them thinking of me. These days have been stressful. It has been that way for years. There is such a contrast between my knowledge (of what's real, although I know 0 maths) and what I'm going through at the same time (the feelings, the "what I'm going to do", the great anguish my family knows nothing about) that can be difficult to understand. But I know this weird life is almost over. (But) I don't know what's coming next. I can't think of it because a lot of the time I'm just trying to breathe, if I'm honest. And if not I'm busy being. Happy to be alive (the most wonderful thing). So no time for plans. And I don't know what I want to do. Best case scenario I don't depend on anybody and can finally love with my whole body. Yes. Poor body. My heart breaks. And I did all this pretty much to write. And to learn. But what did I learn? I'll tell you if I find out. L,


L

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